German parents force 18-year-old to use $4K of his birthday money on his drivers license, let his twin sister keep all $4,500 of her birthday money: 'They’ve always told me that they‘d pay for my driver's license for me.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Nov 26, 2025 8:00 PM EST

On one hand, he's still getting $500. On the other hand, that money was supposed to be a gift.

When you're young, it's easy to be incredibly juvenile about money. If you have it, you spend it! If you have the money to spend on it, you can certainly afford it! Young spoiled kids have little to no sense of how much work (or dumb luck) goes into acquiring a large sum of money. They might have a rudimentary understanding that the way to keep money is not to spend it, but they lack the discipline to put it into practice. 

Some parents choose to spend a lot of their hard-earned money on their spoiled rotten kids, and that's their prerogative. You might think it's asinine for your coworker's daughter to have 50 American Girl dolls, considering that's $5,000 that could go towards her college fund. The truth is, even if you do set aside money for your kids for practical reasons, they might still resent you for not giving it to them without strings so they can have "fun" with it. It often takes an adult set of eyes to see that every extra bit of money your parents ever gave you was a gift, and it was not a guaranteed thing.

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  • A man standing in a field of green grass
    via Sorin Basangeac

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The parents in this story thought they were doing well by saving a couple of thousand dollars for their twins when they turned 18, but their son is bitter that he “has to” spend most of his money on his driver's license.

  • Am I the bad guy for not being grateful about getting $4,500?

    Me and my sister have just gotten $4.5k each for our 18th that have been saved up for us since birth. I'm insanely grateful as I don't have a way to make money yet and have never received any kind of pocket money" (if you can call it that).
    via u/user193719010263
  • However my parents plan on spending the majority (~4k) on my drivers license. My drivers license which I have been promised to get for free. They've always told me that they'd pay it for me.
    via u/user193719010263
  • My sister can spend that money to her hearts content because she legally isn't allowed to drive. I personally think it's unfair she gets it in full and I'm going to have around $500 left to spend. Don't get me wrong, that is quite some money but my sister has 9 times the amount.
    via u/user193719010263
  • I'm pissed that my parents are not keeping their promise, using my money to buy my drivers license when I originally wouldn't have to pay at all. They might as well just not give me the savings at all and only my sister.
    via u/user193719010263
  • In addition, my sister is also cheaper than I. She doesn't have hobbies, no school she needs to buy supplies for nor does she ever want anything. There are more more important reasons but they're a little too personal for me.
    via u/user193719010263
  • While I already talked to my parents (they called me unreasonable) I want to know whether this really makes me ungrateful and an asshole. Edit: I live in Germany. Drivers licenses are more expensive than you think.
    via u/user193719010263
  • A cobblestone road with a yellow building and a clock tower in the background
    via Tobias Reich

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Another Edit: Here's some Info I see a lot of People talking about 1. My parents financial situation has been completely stable and we have by no means trouble with money.
    via u/user193719010263
  • 2. My sister CAN'T drive. She's autistic (imagine a 12 year old with a couple of extra problems).
    via u/user193719010263
  • 3. I probably won't need to act as a chauffeur. My sister doesn't need to go anywhere, she's always in her room. The thing I'll probably have to do is pick my parents up if they're out drinking (and that's completely reasonable).
    via u/user193719010263
  • 4. While I don't actually need a license as we have really good transportation, my parents require it. They see it as a life skill you need to learn and maintain. The maintaining part will happen with either one of my parents cars. I don't need to have an own one yet.
    via u/user193719010263
  • A black car parked in front of some trees
    via KAi'S PHOTOGRAPHY

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 5. I wasn't aware money was being saved up for us until we got it on our birthday, we're twins.
    via u/user193719010263
  • yep3387 Gonna disagree here. NTA, what your parents did sucks. Lead you to believe that you were getting a free license, but surprise, this gift were giving you is actually paying for it. Your sister gets to keep the whole gift but hey hahaha we still gave it to you. Asshole move on your parents part. People are gonna call you entitled, but I think that's bullshit. Does not matter if its 10 dollars or ten million dollars. Someone telling you something, then changing the terms of the deal, is sti
    via u/user193719010263
  • 99-cabbages They should split it between the 2 of them because guaranteed OP will be required to chauffeur the nondriving sister.
    via u/99-cabbages
  • tardyarty This is also my reasoning, like if it was presented to them as a cash gift separate from the license then it's kind of a sham to say 'well actually we're taking most of the gift to pay for your license like we said we would'
    via u/tardyarty
  • kecksonkecksoff They also said in the later edit that they don't need a license but their parents require it?! So it's not even their choice to get the license. Definitely NTA
    via u/kecksonkecksoff
  • AngusLynch09 And she probably thinks that isn't fair that you get to have a license for life while all she gets is some spending money. You're at an age where you get to learn a valuable lesson about fairness in life Fairness isn't a parent giving their two kids the exact same thing every time. Fairness is giving each kid what they individually need. And if you want to look at it purely from a money/value perspective - your license is worth far more than her bit of cash. YTA
    via u/AngusLynch09
  • Oldschooldude1964 You said you were more expensive due to extra activities....that I assume your parents pay for, so consider that your extra as I am willing to bet your extras add up to far more. YTA, be grateful for everything you get and realize life isn't fair.....is it fair that you get to live a "normal" life and your sister doesn't? However blissfully ignorant she may be of this.
    via u/Oldschooldude1964
  • trayvis RootherFord YTA, you should be greatful for the massive financial investment your parents put toward your future regardless how it is spent. Sister cant get a license. She gets the full amount. You can get a license, you get the difference. Your CHOICE in hobbies vs hers has no grounding in the topic. What would be unfair is 3k driving lessons on top of 4.5k gift when sister only gets cash gift. At the end of the day the whole situation reeks of entitlement and "woe is me, life is unfair
    via u/trayvisRootherFord

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brother birthday german siblings Germany reddit story parenting dad twins sister reddit thread parent Reddit mom money drivers license parents teenagers
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